The Story Behind Chapter 5, Lilies & Wildfires

From the meaning behind the lilies to the vibrant colors in these paintings, Chapter 5, Lilies & Wildfires weaves together the story of courage and resilience in the fiery process of getting back up after you've been knocked down. Many of us can resonate with this experience; whether that be rebuilding after the loss of a relationship, adjusting to a diagnosis, or shifting into a new role we weren't ready for, this kind of growth requires us to both grow out of who we once were while simultaneously growing into someone new. It is the wild, terrible, and beautiful process of becoming.

Inspired by my own journey of growing back from burnout last year, this collection came together slowly, and at times painfully, while walking through the unknown. Although 2023 was a mountaintop year with wild dreams coming true, it was also a year where I was faced with my own humbling and very real limitations. I was unknowingly dealing with a chronic infection while burning the candle on both ends in my work. This combination led me to a dark place that wiped me out both physically and emotionally, taking with it my confidence.

If you have ever been knocked down like this, where life shakes both your body and spirit and you aren't quite sure who you are anymore, it can feel like being dropped in a new city with an outdated map. Everyone around you seems to know where they are going, yet here you are, frozen, afraid, and lost.

When this happens, you are faced with the reality that to find your way forward, you will have to do the work of discovering a new path one step at a time. And the thing about discovery that most people won't tell you is it includes both learning and unlearning. It's learning the "how" in a hundred different ways while unlearning the habits and identities and thought patterns that need to be left behind. 

This kind of growth is like a slow-burning fire. It's not easy, nor is it fast. It happens in the conscious, daily choice to step forward even when you aren't sure the right way to go. And little by little, in this process of failing forward, courage and resilience are formed within you. Courage pushes you to try again despite your fears, and resilience keeps you from quitting when you can't see the final destination. 

Although I could write to you about the many takeaways I've discovered in my own journey, the most resounding one is that if you want to become both beautiful and durable, you will need to go through a period of refinement in the fire. If you’ve been through a similar season of growth, or find yourself in the process of getting back up after being knocked down, this collection of artwork and poetry was made for you. Let the fire of growth do its wild, terrible, and beautiful work of transforming you into something new.